I'd like to discuss how we talk to children with autism. One of the things that strikes me is the wide range of what is considered acceptable. I'm not talking about teaching methods. Specifically, I'm talking about the tone and volume in which we speak to these children. I know that they're often difficult to reach and may require multiple attempts to get them to attend or to understand what is being said to them. I also understand that this can be frustrating and confusing at times, but it's everyone's job to stay calm and talk to them in a reasonable manner.

There are many teachers and therapists in special education that would never speak harshly to any child. However, I've heard many speak to children with autism in ways that no regular education program would tolerate, and it seems that this practice is still widespread. My theory is that this habit of loud, cruel voices has been accepted for so long that no one questions it. It's left over from the days when persons with autism were yelled at, slapped and cattle-prodded to get them to comply. 

Everyone knows that being spoken to harshly and punitively can break a person's heart, spirit and self-esteem over time. Our children are no different. They need to feel loved, accepted and cared for. Cruel and abusive tones alone can harmful, even without negative words attached.

My suggestion is that we ask our teachers to speak to our children with kindness and respect. At times when firmness is called for, everyone can still speak kindly while staying firm. It's all in the choice of tone and language.

We want our children to grow into their full potential. It can't happen if they're feeling anxious, depressed or their self-esteem is damaged. We need to lay the foundation first- love, trust, respect, acceptance and kindness. Then we can build instruction over that foundation, taking care not to displace it. If you think about it, it's all relatively common sense. We all learn and become our best in this kind of supportive and accepting atmosphere. Our children do too. -- Sandra Sinclair, www.autismvoice.com

 This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 License.

For the podcast on this topic: part 1 and part 2

When dealing with tantrums and difficult behaviors in autism spectrum disorders, using behavioral approaches alone can sometimes fail. What is the missing piece to managing these behaviors that a behavioral approach alone may not address?

To start, we need to look at the reasons for behavior. According to behavioral approaches, most of the behavior we see results from one of three reasons: a request, seeking attention, or a sensory reason. Let’s look deeper at these three reasons for behavior and the ways we currently handle them.

Handling a request is fairly straightforward. To put it very simply, a request is usually something externally controlled by both reinforcing appropriate requests and not reinforcing inappropriate ones, such as a tantrum.

For negative attention-seeking behaviors, we can eliminate the behavior by not giving the negative behavior attention and give attention for desired behavior – very straightforward, and again, usually externally controlled. 

The sensory reasons arise from both the external and internal events that a child experiences through the five senses, and may or may not be externally controlled. 

In all of these situations, our internal responses – our feelings and thoughts about events fire us into action. In stressful situations, the resulting “knee jerk reactions, are often difficult to manage with a purely behavioral approach for a few reasons:

1. Thoughts and feelings are often lightning-fast, internally-controlled events, therefore difficult to manage through external behavioral modifications.

2. Thoughts and feelings can’t be measured, and as a result, behavioral approaches simply don’t address them. It doesn’t mean that these things don’t exist or aren’t important. It just means that they’re left out of the equation.  

3. Behavioral approaches address the cause and consequence of  behaviors – the beginning and the end. But internal responses (ie thoughts and feelings) happen in the moments between the cause and the consequence. By not dealing with thoughts, feelings and solutions at these moments, we leave a child to figure out solutions on his or her own.

4. Children on the autism spectrum have a limited ability to adapt to new or changing situations, solve problems, compare past to present, or see possibilities. Because of this, if a child never learns how to think through a challenging situation during the emotional moments, when faced with it again, the same behavior will probably repeat itself, no matter what the consequence, or how many times they’ve been through it before.

This situation calls for tools to deal with overwhelming thoughts, feelings and strategies in the moment before the tantrum, not just consequences after.

In the book The Explosive Child , Ross Greene talks about this situation. This book applies to any disorders that have limitations in problem solving and executive thought, including all PDD’s, including Asperger’s Syndrome, PDD-NOS, and all autism spectrum disorders, ADD, ADHD, and various other developmental disabilities.

In the book, first we pick our battles carefully, and then talk through our thought process out loud. This way our children can hear us think through situations before tantrums. This also creates a memory of how they triumphed in the situation without resorting to negative behaviors.

Progress is made in small increments, but as time goes on, tantrums should decrease, and you can even start to ask your child to contribute ideas about solving problems during those emotional moments. In doing this, you help your child learn how to solve problems and become confident about handling new, changing, or challenging situations. You’ll combine the best of all worlds, to the benefit of your child.

- Sandra Sinclair, www.autismvoice.com

MP3 File

Tantrums and undesirable behavior are common problems for children on the spectrum. Why is it that sometimes behavioral strategies work, and sometimes they don't in turning these behaviors around? What is the missing piece from the behavioral approaches that, once put in place, could change the outcome for our children?- Sandra Sinclair, www.autismvoice.com

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 License.

MP3 File

Part 2 deals with how to talk through the emotional moments prior to a tantrum. - Sandra Sinclair, www.autismvoice.com

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 License.

I received this story below in an email today, and I thought it was  most beautiful. I wish I knew who wrote it, but it was a forwarded story. I printed it here in entirety, even the post script note about forwarding it on, since that is the reason for the story. What a beautiful world this could be if we all lived like this...

MP3 File

This show is about diagnosis and first evaluations -our personal experience. - Sandra Sinclair, www.autismvoice.com

MP3 File

This radio show is all about teaching conversation to children with autism by using a declarative communication style. - Sandra Sinclair, www.autismvoice.com

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 License.