Managing Tantrums and Difficult Behaviors in Autism – When Consistency Doesn't Work…

For the podcast on this topic: part 1 and part 2

 

 

When dealing with tantrums and difficult behaviors in autism spectrum disorders, using behavioral approaches alone can sometimes fail. What is the missing piece to managing these behaviors that a behavioral approach alone may not address?

 

 

To start, we need to look at the reasons for behavior. According to behavioral approaches, most of the behavior we see results from one of three reasons: a request, seeking attention, or a sensory reason. Let’s look deeper at these three reasons for behavior and the ways we currently handle them.

 

 

 

Handling a request is fairly straightforward. To put it very simply, a request is usually something externally controlled by both reinforcing appropriate requests and not reinforcing inappropriate ones, such as a tantrum.

 

 

 

For negative attention-seeking behaviors, we can eliminate the behavior by not giving the negative behavior attention and give attention for desired behavior – very straightforward, and again, usually externally controlled. 

 

 

 

The sensory reasons arise from both the external and internal events that a child experiences through the five senses, and may or may not be externally controlled. 

 

 

 

In all of these situations, our internal responses – our feelings and thoughts about events fire us into action. In stressful situations, the resulting “knee jerk reactions, are often difficult to manage with a purely behavioral approach for a few reasons:

 

 

 

1. Thoughts and feelings are often lightning-fast, internally-controlled events, therefore difficult to manage through external behavioral modifications.

 

 

 

2. Thoughts and feelings can’t be measured, and as a result, behavioral approaches simply don’t address them. It doesn’t mean that these things don’t exist or aren’t important. It just means that they’re left out of the equation.  

 

 

 

3. Behavioral approaches address the cause and consequence of  behaviors – the beginning and the end. But internal responses (ie thoughts and feelings) happen in the moments between the cause and the consequence. By not dealing with thoughts, feelings and solutions at these moments, we leave a child to figure out solutions on his or her own.

 

 

 

4. Children on the autism spectrum have a limited ability to adapt to new or changing situations, solve problems, compare past to present, or see possibilities. Because of this, if a child never learns how to think through a challenging situation during the emotional moments, when faced with it again, the same behavior will probably repeat itself, no matter what the consequence, or how many times they’ve been through it before.

 

 

 

This situation calls for tools to deal with overwhelming thoughts, feelings and strategies in the moment before the tantrum, not just consequences after.

 

 

 

In the book The Explosive Child , Ross Greene talks about this situation. This book applies to any disorders that have limitations in problem solving and executive thought, including all PDD’s, including Asperger’s Syndrome, PDD-NOS, and all autism spectrum disorders, ADD, ADHD, and various other developmental disabilities.

 

 

In the book, first we pick our battles carefully, and then talk through our thought process out loud. This way our children can hear us think through situations before tantrums. This also creates a memory of how they triumphed in the situation without resorting to negative behaviors.

 

 

 

Progress is made in small increments, but as time goes on, tantrums should decrease, and you can even start to ask your child to contribute ideas about solving problems during those emotional moments. In doing this, you help your child learn how to solve problems and become confident about handling new, changing, or challenging situations. You’ll combine the best of all worlds, to the benefit of your child.

 

- Sandra Sinclair, www.autismvoice.com

 


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 License.

Tantrums & Difficult Behavior, part 1

MP3 File

Tantrums and undesirable behavior are common problems for children on the spectrum. Why is it that sometimes behavioral strategies work, and sometimes they don't in turning these behaviors around? What is the missing piece from the behavioral approaches that, once put in place, could change the outcome for our children?- Sandra Sinclair, www.autismvoice.com

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 License.

What a Wonderful World We Can Create!

I received this story below in an email today, and I thought it was  most beautiful. I wish I knew who wrote it, but it was a forwarded story. I printed it here in entirety, even the post script note about forwarding it on, since that is the reason for the story. What a beautiful world this could be if we all lived like this…


 
Remember children do what is in their hearts without any hesitation.  This is why we all can learn from children. 
 
You make the choice. Don't look for a punch line. There isn't one. Read it anyway. My question to all of you is: Would you have made the same choice?
At a fund-raising dinner for a school that serves learning disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question.
“When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?”  The audience was stilled by the query.
The father continued. “I believe that when a child like Shay comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes, in the way other people treat that child.”
Then he told the following story: Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball.   Shay asked, “Do you think they'll let me play?”  Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging. Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked if Shay could play.
The boy looked around for guidance and, getting none, took matters into his own hands and said, “We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.”

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the outfield. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands.
In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.
At this juncture, let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible 'cause Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball. However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least be able to make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher took the ball and turned and threw the ball on a high arc to right field, far beyond the reach of the first baseman.

Everyone started yelling, “Shay, run to first! Run to first!”
Never in his life had Shay ever made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.
Everyone yelled, “Run to second, run to second!”
By the time Shay rounded first base, the right fielder had the ball. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions and intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.    
Shay ran toward second base as the runners ahead of him deliriously circled the bases toward home. Shay reached second base, the opposing shortstop ran to him, turned him in the direction of third base, and shouted, “Run to third!”
As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams were screaming, “Shay, run home!”

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the “grand slam” and won the game for his team.
“That day,” said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, “the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world.”
AND, NOW A LITTLE FOOTNOTE TO THIS STORY: We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people think twice about sharing.
If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people on your address list that aren't the “appropriate” ones to receive this type of message. Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference. We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the “natural order of things.” So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice: do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up that opportunity, and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?
I leave you with two choices:
1. Delete this.
2. Forward it to the people you care about. You already know the choice I opted for.

Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

What a Wonderful World We Can Create!

I received this story below in an email today, and I thought it was  most beautiful. I wish I knew who wrote it, but it was a forwarded story. I printed it here in entirety, even the post script note about forwarding it on, since that is the reason for the story. What a beautiful world this could be if we all lived like this… Read more…

- Sandra Sinclair, www.autismvoice.com

“Newly Diagnosed”

 

For Asperger's, Autism, PDD, PDD-NOS, and other autism spectrum disorders:

 

Newly Diagnosed Autism Spectrum: How You Can Help Your Child.”

 

 

 

 

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This is a free Mini Course with 7 clear steps you can take to help your child now. 

 

As a parent of a child on the autism spectrum, I wish something like this was available when my child was diagnosed. That's why I wrote this course.

 

“Newly Diagnosed” covers understanding the symptoms of autism spectrum disorders, getting an evaluation, choosing interventions, finding resources for education, support and advocacy, and updates from Autismvoice.

 

No matter where you are on the journey, the resources and  information contained in this course can be helpful for families of children with autism spectrum disorders.

 


“You have clearly written an invaluable resource to support parents through the difficult and fearful experience of realizing that their child has some form of autism.  Your e-course is packed with compassion, education and resources and leads a parent down a step by step path for effectively dealing with a difficult situation.  I will easily refer any parent I meet who has an autistic child to you
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